Mother; she was the glue that connects us together
By by Marie Tan-Hancock years now, to me I still miss her: the reason I celebrate mother's memory every day in my heart, and say a prayer for her. However, it is not enough I have to tell her story. As the saying goes until you become a mother yourself you cannot totally feel the importance of having a mother and the love that only a mother can give to her child. There's another quote that says the most beautiful things in life are the ones kept private. As a self-published writer, I often break this rule. Mother... her life was beautiful. In this blog, I'll share a little glimpse of that life. My memories of Mother were beautiful, treasured images in my mind even to this very day. Sharing mother's reminiscence is therapeutic and can help stimulate my readers to remember their own memories with their mothers, or strengthen their relationships with their mothers while they are still around.
Mother was my first teacher and counselor. She showed me her unwavering faith to God by attending the Holy Mass every day, and her devotion to St. Joseph. Today, I do the same thing- nurturing my faith by attending daily mass, and remembering mother's words to never cease praying to God... most especially in your time of difficulties in life. When growing up, since I was the youngest and a menopausal baby, I was the apple of her eyes. In spite of the fact that I felt I was mother's favorite - my siblings and I felt the same way, she loved us all unconditionally. She was our driving and guiding force, protector, teacher and source of strength.
Mother was a full time grade school and Spanish teacher for 31 years, and spoke three languages (Tagalog, Spanish and English). She was born on Valentine’s Day. Mother was our foundation of love in the family. She was the glue that connected us to reliving the memories of the old and the traditional, engendering to the newly created generations. In her 40's and 50's, she and father shared our home to relatives and even strangers who needed shelter. Though mother was known to be strict, she wanted all who crossed her path to be helped and be successful in life. Mother and father shared the same passion promoting the spirit of generosity over greed.
I was a sickly child and Mother was always at my bedside every time I was ill. Because of mother's prayers, I was miraculously healed. Mother's prayers were miraculous. Here's one of a few stories of mother's prayers that was miraculously heard by God...one day, a building across the street where we live was caught on fire. It was a hot day. My twin daughters (one of them told me the story) who were still almost six at that time were with their grandmother who told them to carry the image of the Child Jesus Sto. Nino near the building that was caught on fire. It was summer time, the sky was blue and there was no rain to expect. Mother was there with the girls standing, praying and waiting for the fire to stop- in about 20 minutes, the rain started to pour, and the fire eventually died down. Till today, I often ask mother for prayers. Someone told me that a mother's prayer for her child is like a light that goes directly to God and her cries and pleas in behalf of her children will never go unanswered.
Both of my parents were hardworking, so I was left with the care of my "yaya" a live-in nanny. My siblings left to go to college and I was left at home. I had a beautiful childhood. Whenever something was bothering me, mother could tell. If ever I made mistakes with my choices, mother never yelled at me or gave unsolicited advise unless I asked for it. She was just there to listen. Mother was my number one motivator and cheerleader, who always inspired me to use my God given gifts and talents to help people. She was always the only one who encouraged me to write a book.....
Mother's dad(Anecito) was a Portuguese-Spanish man who migrated to the Philippines. Grandfather was hardworking, and according to Mother, he became widowed three times. Mother was the oldest of the three children of the second wife (Romana). In her 80s, mother's memory was perfect and she could still remember the events of her childhood, the names and dates with no difficulty.
Fast forward - both mother and father had memories with all their grand children. In the late 60s, they had their first and second grand children, the first born of my oldest sister, then came the 70s- more Gen X grandchildren were born. They had time to enjoy their grandchildren before migrating to the US. In the late 70s, my parents were here in the US where they had time to be with their grandchildren. In 1994, they travelled from South Carolina to California to take care of their younger grandchildren, the Gen Y or the Mellinials. They are my three children: the last two were twin girls.
In her remaining years, mother showed me how she loved life. She was up very early each day with father. Both got up on time, took a shower and enjoyed breakfast while watching news on TV, sometimes listening to their radio and reading their daily newspapers. Mother and father were simple people. They were always grateful and happy for what they have. Every time I wake up, I could smell father's cooking and mother's perfume all around the house. Mother with all smile on her face, was also well dressed for the day (colorful blazers) even not on special occasions, wearing her favorite one-inch heel sandals or shoes, a flower broche, well combed hair, her favorite lipstick (the only thing I didn’t get from mother) and face powder. Mother said that when she was younger, she didn’t wear make up. Whatever she wore, her simplicity still showed. Everyone who knew my parents most especially my bosom friends called them Mama and Papa. Both my parents were the highlights of the party - they blended with anyone young or old. They loved to go to casinos once in awhile and enjoyed playing the slot machines. One time, I let my parents joined the church pilgrimage around Northern California where they really enjoyed so much.
They were loved and cherished by their grandchildren.
Mother was very proud of her father. She lost her mother at a very young age, and her father at the age of 10 or 11. After her father's death, mother and her younger sister lived with the nuns (Immaculada Conception in Cebu City) while her only brother was with the care of their oldest sister and her family. In her life, having lost her mother and father at a very young age, was the reason I have learned to not take my parents for granted... not all are so fortunate to grow up with parents. She was also very proud of her oldest brother who was a lawyer and later became a Judge. She spoke with utmost respect for her oldest sister that she admired so much. Since she was the oldest of the second marriage, she always loved her younger siblings. The youngest and only child of the third wife of her father died very young. Mother just loved to love unconditionally and was very forgiving and accepting of the past events in her life.
My parents in their last few years on Earth; love, generosity, faith in God and forgiveness were important ingredients in their lifestyle.
Today, as I remember their memories; I am always grateful to my parents. Mother never left, she is still around- only we cannot share stories like before and eat, pray and laugh together anymore.
I miss you Mama, I could have loved you more, not just enough. Thank you for my life and for who I am.
Mother was not a "perfect mother" but she was very close to one.
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