The Celebration of Life

by Marie Tan-Hancock

 

The Celebration of Life

     

     Sometimes you cannot comprehend beyond wits, wisdom and common sense when a very good person dies a tragic death.  One day in February of 2016, just hours before Valentine’s Day, a very close and dear friend, like family to us, was hit by a car that was racing with another car, while he was trying to merge back to the busy lane from a parking lot. It was a devastating event for those who knew this man well. I've always called him Uncle Peck, short for Perfecto.  At the age of 86, he was still a very strong man physically, filled with wisdom, well respected, and his name speaks for itself. He was a US Navy Retiree. In spite that one’s passing is not viewed positively by all people, the best way to conquer this is to be in good terms with death. In this world there is no way to exit alive, but only through the pangs of death. The man who carelessly hit him was tried in military court. The guy was later forgiven by Uncle Peck’s widow, and she wanted forgiveness, and a short or no jail time for him.  Uncle Peck and his wife were among the most generous and God-fearing couples I have known in my life.

     None of us will escape death. All of us are subject to grieve and become sad when someone dies. We only grieve for those we love and the people who love and care for us. But what is comforting, is that all of us are resilient to challenges in life. No matter what life throws at us, we have to either live with it or let it go. Life is how you see it, love it, and say it.

     To me, I have a different view of how to celebrate life after the passing of loved ones. In 2002, my only brother passed away. Then, in 2003, my mother followed.  My father passed away the next year, in 2004. It was a string of the saddest moments in my life and I never had a chance to grieve. In spite that my parents were strong enough to take care of themselves in their early 80’s, after my brother’s passing, and the earlier passing of my middle sister in 1987, I could tell my parents' spirits were weakened and all they had to hang on to was their faith in God.  I am the youngest in the family, and all I can do is to cope each day. Sometimes no one can see our frailty in the process and fail to see our share of sorrows and imperfections. 

    When my brother died, he never had a chance to see his two children again. In his later days, he was taken care of by my oldest sister. He, however, permitted his kids to find a better life for themselves in spite the fact that his days on Earth were counted. My original family is now dispersed. We are a close-knit family but the next generations are separated by miles, by abundance, and status quo.

     My brother’s children got married and had kids of their own. And because of what they have become today, they will make their father very proud. They did not become very rich and accomplished, but they have created good and wholesome families of their own. As I have celebrated my brother’s life for all these years, I continue to be there for his children emotionally even though I have not seen them for years. I talk to them by long distance and through letters.  I want to be there emotionally and ready to listen to any of my nephews and nieces when they need someone to talk to. 

  As I celebrate my parents’ life, I will continue to promote their beautiful legacy that they left behind in my heart. After they passed, in spite that they were not very rich, I was surprised of the many charitable organizations they had supported. I want to make it sure God willing, to continue their legacy of giving, forgiving and loving.

     In 2014, my second-oldest sister had stopped living. It was another annihilating event in my life. She was fun to be with. We laughed together. She was the best person to talk to. She had a non-operable brain tumor.  

   I never stopped crying for a few days after my sister’s passing.  It was like I was finally grieving for my losses after all these years of the deaths of my parents, and my two other siblings. I had never had a chance to grieve because I had still missions in life to conclude and carry on during those times. As I see it, the celebration of life to me is to continue the desires of the hearts of my siblings and my parents. Like many of us, we want to put our families together, and to build and strengthen the bonds that can bring us together through love and forgiveness that is of God. However, with the young ones in our family, it will not be easy as they are still in the prime time and hot spot of their lives. I always believe there is time for everything. God’s timing in our life is unpredictable. As the song goes, “In His time He makes all things beautiful.” We have witnessed many deaths among our circle of friends, and family members. We have given our last respect and attended their services to celebrate their life. However, we sometimes fail to see what is there really to celebrate. To me, to celebrate one’s life is to continue to admire the good things of those who went ahead of us. They did not leave this world without a reason. They left because their time on Earth and purpose is over. However, after death, another journey continues. The celebration of our love ones life will keep on with us. They became angels to help and guide those they loved while living.  We are here to carry the unfinished mission we were all called for, and that is to love God with all our hearts and  “love one another.”

    But have we really loved one another in the best way for all these years?

Marie Tan-Hancock will be releasing her sixth book "One Way Traffic" a Senior inspiration.

About Marie Tan-Hancock 

Personal Philosophy: Despite a physical disability and having to withdraw from medical school, she emphasizes perseverance and sharing one's gifts to serve others. 

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